Love the way you lie
by Happymood
Summary: September 1943. Cephalonia. Germany used him, lied to him, but Italy hadn't even asked where they were going and still trusted Germany completely. His only answer was: because I love you. Warnings: mentions of abusing relationship. GerIta. Oneshot.


**A.N. Warnings: mentions of abusing relationship and use of humans names. I used them mostly to show when the human side of the nation is talking. On the other hand, I want to apologize for any grammatical or lexical errors ^^' and if this offends anyone in any way, I apologize in advance. I didn't really do it on purpose! Now, please read and review, but, most importantly enjoy! :) **

**_Love the way you lie_**

_23 September 1943_

Italy stared up at the clear sky above him. Everything felt so peaceful, despite everything that was happening in the world, and he especially liked the way the cicadas creaked around him.

He liked Cephalonia, it was a really beautiful island in the middle of the sea, and it was warm. Italy contemplated about his home, how it must be already raining there, while here it still felt like summer.

Italy wouldn't mind living in Cephalonia. He liked the green of the olive trees and the salty tang of the sea. The girls were beautiful, bright as the sun warming their skin throughout the year. He picked up a daisy and played it between his fingers with a smile on his face.

All in all, it was a fine day to die.

Italy wondered if Grandpa Roma would be proud of him, if, when they'll meet, he would forgive him for all that he has done.

"Everyone wants to be like you, Grandpa…" Italy thought and sat down on the ground suddenly tired. At first Romano had wanted it as much as Feliciano had. They both had forgotten for a moment the meaning behind this wish. He wondered what his brother was doing in that moment and looked again up in the sky.

He suddenly stopped fantasizing when he realized his men had stopped talking and laughing. Italy turned his head to where they were and noticed a man walking slowly towards them. Italy recognized the green uniform immediately and the blond hairs sticking from under the military cap.

Italy smiled widely as the figure moved closer to him.

All in all, it was a good day to die.

_22 May 1939_

If someone had asked Italy about Germany a year before, he wouldn't have known what to say. Italy knew who Germany was, had heard many things about him actually, but had never saw him in person. He just knew him to be serious and strict, not a guy Feliciano wanted to be friends with. It was ironic really.

His boss had great expectations on Germany and his boss. He always told Italy how they were going to be great like they used to be with the help of Germany.

"We are not ready for war, though…" his boss said, "If they accept to give us a year or more…"

Italy didn't like war, he preferred peace. He preferred holding a glass of wine, rather than a gun. But his boss's words, in a way or another, made an impact on him he couldn't quite comprehend and in the end he believed him. The idea of be grand and not be laughed of anymore intrigued him and Italy couldn't wait to meet this Germany guy in person.

He met him one day perfectly by chance, while he was hiding in that box from his enemies. The first thing he noticed was the blue of the other man's eyes. It reminded him so much of someone he had met ages before, that for a second he thought he was young again in Austria's house. The man that had found him called himself Germany.

Italy would later say it was love at first sight.

And here they were, now, standing one before the other, accompanied by their respective bosses in Berlin, talking about how they were going to aid each other if war was declared. Italy and Germany stared at each other as the rest of the room talked and decided. Italy was smiling while Germany remained serious.

They called it the Pact of Steel.

Italy and Germany shook their hands on it.

The Pact of Blood.

_1939- 10 June 1940_

Feliciano tried to know Ludwig better, considering that, from then on, they had to spend most of the time together.

At first Feliciano was scared about Ludwig, step by step, though, he started to trust him all the more. Ludwig was serious, wanted him to train every day, regardless if it was siesta time or not, but it was not long until he found out Ludwig's sweet and shy persona. Ludwig would always console him if something made Feliciano cry and protect him.

"You are my best friend!" Feliciano smiled. Ludwig stuttered something back.

When Germany attacked Poland, Feliciano wasn't ready. It would take him at least ten months before he finally entered the war on Germany's side. Italy wasn't ready; he would never feel ready for war.

Italy didn't feel ready even when his boss wanted him to attack England and France.

"A stab in the back," England said.

He wasn't ready but Italy would do it.

For Germany.

_September 1940_

"You'll attack England in Lybia…" Germany said and Feliciano's eyes widened in fear. "It's your colony, after all…"

"What?" he didn't feel ready, he couldn't do it, he didn't want to. Ludwig's stern face softened for a moment, he looked at Feliciano and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you can do it," Ludwig said. Feliciano felt suddenly lighter and looked up at the taller man. He studied the other's facial features and seeing something no one else could see, Feliciano smiled.

"You really do believe in me, Germany?"

"Of course…"

Feliciano believed him and smiled even widely. Then, suddenly, he hugged Ludwig, making the other still in surprise but most of all in embarrassment. That was the Germany Feliciano wanted to see, saw.

In the end Italy was too weak and had to ask for Germany's help. He came immediately, sighing in frustration but somehow relieved that Italy was okay. It was then that Italy realized how much he liked Ludwig.

Italy loved him.

_October 1940 _

"I decided to attack Greece…" their boss said. Romano didn't talk, just nodded, before he noticed a detail in his boss' phrase.

"Germany doesn't approve?" Romano finally asked, ignoring his first instinct of don't ask and just do as told.

"He doesn't know…" his boss said. "I believe, we need to show them that we are capable of making great things ourselves. After your brother's failures in Africa and the way he depends so much on Germany, we are starting to be ridiculed…"

"And what should I do?" Romano asked, ignoring the insinuations about his brother.

"You are going to command the attack in Greece. I need you there."

"Feliciano won't like it…" Lovino suddenly said. His boss frowned at Romano's words.

"Only because Germany wouldn't approve…" his boss said. Lovino had to admit that his boss was right and his stomach started churning when he thought about the way his brother talked about Germany. Lovino didn't like that guy, but for the sake of his home, he accepted his boss's orders and walked out the door.

_23 September 1943_

Germany watched Italy sitting next to him in the little truck, playing with a little daisy between his fingers and talking in Italian with some of his soldiers, the smile not once leaving his face. Italy hadn't even asked where they were going and just trusted Germany completely. The smile on Italy's face in that moment made Ludwig's stomach churn and he looked away.

He suddenly remembered that accident between them three years ago, when everything had started to go downhill.

It was one of those times where Germany had enough free time to relax. Italy was staying with him, in one of his homes out in the countryside, where the war still seemed not to exist. The sun was shining bright above them and Ludwig relaxed under a tree, watching as Feliciano ran around, playing with his dogs.

Ludwig smiled at the scene before him, when suddenly Feliciano turned to him, smiling brightly, and waved at him. Ludwig suddenly felt his cheeks heat up, he could barely breath as Feliciano started to run towards him.

"Germany!" he exclaimed. Ludwig tried to look unfazed as Feliciano suddenly threw himself in Ludwig's arms. Feliciano laughed and looked up at Ludwig. Ludwig, on the other, wondered why he felt so weak when Feliciano smiled like that.

He felt strange.

Feliciano was clumsy, lazy and had the bad habit of running away when scared, but he was beautiful like the streets in Venice, his smile was clear as the waters in Genoa and he was warm like the countryside in Tuscany. It took a while for Ludwig to realize that he had fell in love with Feliciano.

It was an act his boss didn't approve and he suddenly panicked, until Feliciano caressed his cheek and all his worries vanished in an instant.

"Is everything okay, Ludwig?" Feliciano asked.

"Yes…", Ludwig whispered. His boss wasn't there. No one needed to know about it. He could break the rules for once.

It took him a while to gain the courage and kiss Feliciano lightly on the nose. Feliciano was surprised at first then his heart started to beat madly against his chest. Feliciano felt so happy and without another thought he kissed Ludwig on the lips.

In that moment Ludwig wished for that smile to never fade away.

"Is everything okay, Ludwig?" Feliciano suddenly asked, making Germany remember their current situation, where he was and what he was going to do. He didn't answer and didn't even turn to look at Feliciano.

Because, the smile he knew Feliciano was showing to the world made him sick.

_June 1941_

"Where are they taking those people, Germany?" Italy asked, his head tilting in confusion at the trucks full with people. Germany ignored him, talked with his soldiers and gave instructions. Italy just watched as some women suddenly started to cry, holding their babies tight against their chests.

"They aren't like us, Italy…" Germany suddenly said. "They aren't even people."

Italy didn't understand. He understood later in time and he would take the wrong conclusions. If Germany said something, that must be it.

"By the way," Germany said then, when they were alone again. "I'm going against the Soviet Union…"

"I'm with you. Always."

_December 1941 _

As much as he tried and washed, the blood on Ludwig's hands wouldn't go away. He was shaking for the cold or maybe from all the things he saw. Germany didn't really want to think about it. All he knew was that things were starting to get out of hand. He sometimes woke in the middle of the night with cold sweat, other times he woke up laughing and the feeling he got after a battle, a mission, a massacre, a torture wouldn't go away for days…

Ludwig had been in the Gestapo quarters some hours before but the blood still didn't want to go away.

"Dirty…" he swore, he scrubbed, nothing. He knew Italy was somewhere in the house and he didn't want him to see him like that. He needed to be over quick but the water kept running and the hands were still dirty.

"Ludwig?"

Feliciano's voice. Ludwig cursed and turned abruptly when the door to the bathroom suddenly creaked open.

"Get out!" Ludwig suddenly shouted and Feliciano stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening in fear and confusion. After a moment of inner conflict, Feliciano decided to forget his initial fear and came closer to the other nation. He stared for a moment as Ludwig cursed and kept washing his hands repeatedly.

"What are you doing?" Feliciano asked then, his voice just a tiny whisper.

"Don't you see?" Ludwig exclaimed. A violent bark.

"But… your hands are clean…" Feliciano reasoned. Ludwig stopped and stared at his hands. They were red for all the scrubbing, but there wasn't a trace of blood left on them. Ludwig stared confused as the water continued running clear.

He didn't notice the fear in Feliciano's eyes.

_1942_

Germany body was hurting. The war against the Soviet Nation was exhausting, wearing him from the inside out. He was losing too many men and as much as he tried to tell his boss, the other was firm: they have to win before the end of the year.

"I'm disappointed in you…" his boss had said. "But I understand why you feel weak these days. You always have to go and save those useless Italians..."

It was frustrating. The cold, the battles, his duties as a soldier… and then there was Italy. Germany groaned and run a hand through his hair. The things his boss had told him an hour before didn't do his patience any good.

"It's there something wrong?" a voice he knew too well said and Ludwig turned abruptly around and stared at Italy.

Italy was there, smiling as always, like he didn't understood the pain he was causing him.

"I lost up North…" Germany suddenly said. His head was hurting and he was so lost in his pain, he was surprised to feel Italy's hand on his shoulder.

"It will go better next time…"

Germany's breath hitched at Feliciano's words. There shouldn't have been a next time! His boss was so disappointed in him because there was going to be a next time! He suddenly turned around and hit Feliciano hard. The feeling of bones cracking made Germany feel strange.

He wanted to do it again.

"It's always like this with you, isn't it?" Germany suddenly shouted, ignoring his own feelings, "Don't you see this whole thing is your fault? You always lose! I always have to look out for you!"

Germany suddenly looked down and finally noticed that the force of the hit had made Feliciano fall and his nose open. Italy stared at the blood in his hands and the violence of his action hit Germany like a ton of bricks and he made a step back, away.

Suddenly Italy stood up and Ludwig was sure that Feliciano was going to run away but Italy surprised him, throwing himself in Ludwig's arms, instead.

"I'm sorry!" Feliciano said, "It's my fault. Don't be angry at me, Germany…"

"I…" Ludwig was shocked as he stared down at Feliciano's arms around his body. Despite the fact he hurt him, Feliciano seemed to be the one that felt guilty about it.

"I know I get you too much in trouble…" Feliciano was saying, dirtying Ludwig's shirt with blood.

"I won't do it again…" Ludwig said instead, not even sure about his own words. Feliciano nodded against his chest and Ludwig tried not to think about the feeling he had when he hit his ally.

Feliciano believed him, again.

_9 February 1943_

Their boss was in an awful mood those days. Germany had lost, at least 20 divisions had been annihilated and his body hurt so much that sometimes he couldn't even stand. The nights it was even worse, though, as his mind kept screaming, sometimes begging him to stop, and sometimes telling him that he needed more of the madness.

It made matter worse that, when he woke up, Italy would be there, sleeping peacefully in his bed. A sudden urge to hurt him would come then. He always tried to prevent that from happening but he wouldn't always succeed and weren't few the times he woke Feliciano up and used him in pent up anger.

That day Germany felt worse thought.

He was looking at himself in the mirror and didn't recognize himself.

The Germany that stared back at him was smirking at him, taunting him, asking for blood. He hated and loved that vision at the same time. Feliciano had found him like that and then they had started to fight over something trivial.

Sometimes Feliciano just let Germany do all the shouting, but sometimes Feliciano would be so fed up about everything that he would shout back. That day was one of those times.

Only not.

Germany was always stronger and it's a matter of time before Feliciano was blooding all over the cold floor and when Germany made to raise his hand again, Feliciano, in a sudden act of self-preservation, hit him right back.

Feliciano wasn't enough strong to hurt him but the blow made Ludwig suddenly realize what he was doing and let go of Feliciano's other hand as if burned. Ludwig felt the blood run down his cheek, but he really didn't care about that in that moment.

He looked at Feliciano and the other nation was so deep in shock at what he has done that he just stared right back, his eyes wide in fear.

"I'm…" Feliciano suddenly said and Ludwig blinked away the shock, before returning angry again.

"You see what you do to me?" he shouted. Feliciano was breathing deeply at his feet, not having enough strength to stand up.

"You made me weak and pathetic!" Ludwig suddenly said and suddenly Feliciano looked into the other's eyes and saw a man he had years to see. Feliciano suddenly stood up and made to touch Germany, but the other retreated.

"You think what you do to _me_ is better?" Feliciano suddenly exclaimed, dropping his hands and hiding his eyes behind his bangs.

"I need you away from me…" suddenly Ludwig whispered. His mind, for the first time in weeks was clear, and he looked at Feliciano softly sobbing before him.

"But I need y—…" Feliciano suddenly protested.

"Join your troops in Greece…" Ludwig abruptly cut him. "It's an order!" he decided to add then. Feliciano bit his lips and after a moment of silence, nodded.

_11 February 1943_

"What the bastard done to you?"

Feliciano winced at his brother's words and tried to look away from Lovino's shocked face. The older one of the two suddenly grabbed Feliciano's chin, forced him look at him and studied the younger's black eye.

"It's my fault, really…" Feliciano smiled and Lovino suddenly noticed the black marks around the other's neck and suddenly he grabbed Feliciano's shirt and pulled up, showing more marks and scars.

"That bastard!" Lovino exclaimed and Feliciano abruptly pulled down his shirt and proceeded to gather his things as if nothing had happened.

"I always told you he wasn't a good man, damn it!" Lovino was saying. "Why didn't you tell me anything was going on? Since when has he been abusing you?"

"He is not doing anything of the sort," Feliciano suddenly exclaimed, "And I didn't told you because I knew you wouldn't understand!"

"What's there to understand?" Lovino shouted, "The man is hurting you!"

"He cares for me!" Feliciano cut, "He trusts me! In fact, he wants me to go to Greece and…"

"So he is fed up with you now?" Lovino sarcastically spat. Feliciano stopped what he was doing and glared at his brother.

"Just because Antonio abandoned you, doesn't mean Ludwig is!" Feliciano exclaimed and suddenly bit his own tongue at his words. Lovino stared at him in shock for a moment, then his eyes darkened and turned his back to Feliciano.

"Well, then…" Lovino said, "Have a good trip to Greece…" and slammed the door behind him. Feliciano stared at the spot Lovino had been standing for a few moments before he continued putting his things in one of his old bags.

Lovino walked away. His anger grew each step he made. He hated Germany and then he hated their boss, who wanted an alliance with that madman and made their lives miserable.

It was time Lovino took matters into his hands and do something about it.

_3 September 1943-Italy _

Lovino stared at England and America standing on the other side of the table, then he accepted the pen that was offered him and leaned down on the paper before him.

South Italy signed the Armistice. Then he stood up, nodded at England and America, turned and walked away.

He had a lot of other things to do.

_8 September 1943-Berlin_

Germany's boss switched off the radio and stared out of the window for some time before turning to look at Germany.

"You know what to do…" he just said.

Germany just nodded.

What they thought as humans has never mattered.

_23 September 1943- Cephalonia_

When Germany had told him to give up the artillery, Italy immediately did. When Germany told him to get on the truck, Italy talked optimistically to his soldiers and did as told.

Italy smiled at each and every one of them, told them that everything was going to be okay and then he would look up at the sky, a smile on his face.

Germany suddenly couldn't take it anymore and grabbed Italy's shoulder, making him turn and look at him. Italy just smiled and tilted his head in a confused manner. In that moment Ludwig hated himself with passion.

"Why you keep trusting me?" he exclaimed. Many soldiers that understood German looked at each other in question. Feliciano just kept smiling and then he said:

"Because I love you!"

Germany retreated his hands and suddenly turned around and ordered to stop. The German soldiers immediately barked commands and violently pulled the Italians out the truck. Feliciano looked at the deserted area around them and then at the daisy in his hands.

Someone tried to run away and Feliciano didn't look up when he heard the shooting.

"Come on!" one of the soldiers said and made them stand in line, their backs against the cold rock. Feliciano suddenly looked up and his eyes met Ludwig's ones.

Germany held his gun, his hands were slightly shaking but immediately he pushed the thoughts aside and pointed his weapon at Italy.

Feliciano just smiled sadly at him.

"Shot!"

_January 1940_

"Germany!" Feliciano exclaimed, stopping suddenly in their training.

"What is it, Italy?"

"Do you love me?"

"O-of c-course… you… er…"

"That's all I needed to hear!"

_31 September 1943 _

Lovino hoped he wasn't too late. As soon as the news of the massacre had arrived to him, he immediately took a plane to Cephalonia.

The island was strangely silent, despite all the things that were going on those days, and Lovino felt the stillness oppress him, making him pant to breath.

"He's in one of my children's house…" Greece had said. Lovino found him and ordered the Greek to take him immediately to his brother. Lovino tried to ignore Greece's raised eyebrow and just followed him to a little house in the fields.

Greece opened the door for Lovino and he entered, recognizing immediately Feliciano's features in the darkness, lying in a little bed made with hay, his uniform reeking of blood. Lovino shouted his name over and over but Feliciano didn't respond, white as dead and cold as ice.

Lovino leaned down to hear the other's heartbeat. It was weak but it was still there.

"I tried to treat him as best as I could…" Greece said behind him. Lovino took Feliciano's cold hand and stared at the little smile on his brother's lips.

"T-thank you…"

With the help of Greece and some of his men, Lovino took the body of his brother to the plane and took him to their home in Rome.

_November 1943_

Feliciano stared out of the window from his hospital bed, as Lovino paced around the room, red from anger.

"Are you listening to yourself?" Lovino exclaimed. Feliciano didn't turn to look at him. "Do you understand the implications of your words?"

"We were better than everybody else…" Feliciano whispered. Lovino groaned and run a hand through his hair.

"He hurt you!" Lovino shouted. "He almost killed you!"

"I… still love him…"

"You are an idiot!"

"I'm not going to betray him!"

"You are betraying your own children!" Lovino suddenly exclaimed and grabbed Feliciano's arm. "Go out and look at what he has done to them! How much they're hurting!"

Feliciano didn't answer, just looked down and pulled his arm out from his brother's hold. Lovino stared at him, unbelieving, then he sighed and said:

"This means civil war, you know…"

Feliciano bit his lips, his eyes glassy, but didn't answer. Lovino growled and left.

_1944-1945_

The pain in his chest was unbelievable and his head hurt from all the thoughts running in his head. He thought about his children, about those days when he still didn't know what the word 'war' meant, about his Grandpa Roma and his first love.

Lovino's words.

They had hurt him a lot.

But now that Germany was away, now that he was finally home, his head started to clear. It hurt too much but he had loved him. Had loved the way he had lied to him, even if Feliciano knew that there was a time Ludwig had been sincere.

Feliciano just forgot when.

Slowly he stood up, put something over himself, and decided to go out. To see with his own eyes the pain he was feeling. His children were weak, cold, hungry and torn apart.

In part it was Feliciano's own fault.

Suddenly a song started forming in his head and Feliciano opened his mouth to let the words out.

"Una mattina mi son svegliato… oh, bella ciao…[1]" he started singing and the people around him that heard him joined in to the chorus. Feliciano suddenly felt himself smiling and when he did, his people smiled too.

It was a new beginning.

Feliciano let the others end the song and he turned back inside. He had to call Lovino and tell him they have a last war to do.

_Spring 1945- Berlin _

Everyone was panicking. His boss barked orders, trying to organize the last resistance. Ludwig just stared at him and at his men and the things he did were done reluctantly.

He couldn't stop thinking about Italy. His hazel eyes, the love and sadness he had seen that day were hunting him. Maybe that was why his hand shook and didn't shot the heart.

Ludwig missed him but the distance between them made him finally stop and think. In those last days everything started to clear in his head, the madness of it all, what exactly had he done, the hate for a boss that didn't care about his people, the propaganda, the pain…

Ludwig was sure Italy hated him. He should and Ludwig would understand and even encourage Feliciano to never forgive him.

"If I'll exist after this…" Ludwig thought as someone shouted that the Allies were coming.

Ludwig in that moment didn't care, just wanted this to end already.

: : : : : : :

_[1] The song is called "Bella Ciao" ("Goodbye, beautiful"). It's a traditional Partisan song, sung by the left-wing anti-fascist resistance movement in Italy_


End file.
